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All of blade/speranza wreslters
Sun Apr 07, 2024 12:00 am by Blade/speranza
If you ant a march with any of thme let me know this is also a post for them
Sperzana bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22432-speranza-doncy?highlight=Speranza
Blade bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22536-blade-mccharge-the-blade-of-the-world?highlight=blade
Catherine: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22906-catherine-the-great-celestial?highlight=Catherine
Sperzana bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22432-speranza-doncy?highlight=Speranza
Blade bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22536-blade-mccharge-the-blade-of-the-world?highlight=blade
Catherine: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22906-catherine-the-great-celestial?highlight=Catherine
Comments: 1
Improvement/Critique Thread
+57
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61 posters
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Re: Critique Thread
Well Kitten, other then it being well written:
I gave me a bit of a Dead Space vibe but with a few catfighting and sexyness about. Being a Dead Space fan, I enjoyed reading it. Like I said it's well written and very detailed, the stuff with the dead bodies in the med bay gave me a bit of a Dead Space scene in my head, which is good!
Even though people might say that it's alot of text, it's because it's detailed enough to make even the poorly English understand it. I loved to read it. Hope you make more!
I gave me a bit of a Dead Space vibe but with a few catfighting and sexyness about. Being a Dead Space fan, I enjoyed reading it. Like I said it's well written and very detailed, the stuff with the dead bodies in the med bay gave me a bit of a Dead Space scene in my head, which is good!
Even though people might say that it's alot of text, it's because it's detailed enough to make even the poorly English understand it. I loved to read it. Hope you make more!
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Heavy Weight:
Karina Northman
Middle Weight:
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Kawaii:
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Re: Critique Thread
You've posted 4 times so far, and not one of them in the right place. Good start.
Bluemouse- Posts : 11144
Join date : 2010-10-13
Re: Critique Thread
[quote="Darkcronicler":1vuns92u]Hello I'm darkcronicler the being that brings the end of storys such as RPs and I need help to make my messenger and being who knows the story of all characters like natilia the dream.
[quote="Darkcronicler":1vuns92u]I check posts daily
[quote="Darkcronicler":1vuns92u]A story will have an ending even if it ends in darkness pain or suffering
Hmm. Spelling leaves some major work to be desired. Also lets try to avoid one liners as those can be a drag and reek of pure suckage.
Oh and if I could make a suggestion, I think your writing talents would be best suited for something like The Sopranos... I hear they're in need of a real ending and it's never too late!
Also, I don't know if you're aware but 'natilia the dream' doesn't work here. If she did we'd know and then Sue her ass for infringement!
Real Talk.
Last edited by 621 on Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:57 pm; edited 2 times in total
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