Seraphim and Minerva

Minerva couldn't believe the words that came out of Seraphim's mouth. Her hands that had so tightly gripped Seraphim's shirt, fell weakly to her sides. She sniffled and looked down. "I..." She began. "I don't understand..." She said simply. It was the truth. Minerva didn't know what Seraphim meant and because Seraphim didn't want to talk about her past, she might never know. Even with that said, Minerva still tried. She looked up at Seraphim with quivering eyes that still begged for an explanation. She gave a little sigh and tried to approach things a different way.


"But... you don't look dead..." She said the words knowing that the literal approach would gain her nothing, but at least it was an attempt. Her eyes looked hopeful for a moment. "If... if it's something you lost... then it's something you can get back too right?" She wondered hoping Seraphim would answer yes though fearful she would not.

'...So naive. I.. guess that's what I love about her though.' Seraphim gave a pained smile at Minerva's responce, slowly shaking her head. She wasn't upset at all with Minerva, she just found it amusing, almost... funny had the subject matter not been so serious. Seraphim didn't move as she sat up, her gaze still vacantly up in the sky, forgetting for just a moment where she was as her smile never left, taking a long sigh to gather herself. "I can't bring back the dead. I can't wash of the blood stained on my hands. I can't stop what is slowly killing me. And.. I can never see their faces again. ...There's nothing that can be done." It hurt Seraphim to say these words, but at the same time, it also felt like she was getting a heavy weight off her chest, like she finally had someone to listen to her.

Minerva's eyes widened when Seraphim somberly shook her head. She felt crushed worse than any punch she had taken but for some reason she had more strength inside of her. She was going to open Seraphim's eye if it killed her! She lowered her head at first and spoke quietly. "I'll never understand something like that." She said softly. "I know it must be tough to think about it and... I wish Sera-San would let me know what kind of pain shefelt. I...' She paused. "Mine-chan really wants to know everything about Sera-San, even the bad stuff, because she is so amazing!" She lifted her head up and looked Seraphim in the eye.

"The past is the past and even though we try so hard to hold onto the good memories, sometimes it seems like only the bad ones stay with us." She reached out and grabbed Seraphim's cheeks in her palm and forced her to stay looking ather. "But... what do you see now?" She smiled sweetly at Seraphim. "Sera=San is the one that made Mine-chan realize there could be hope but maybe Sera-San needs to understand her own lesson. I'm here ... right now..." She said it again. "I... M-Minerva... Your friend and your sister... Sera-San... I know I'm not the only one too. What about the others you told me about? You lost... what made you want to keep on living but... maybe if you only looked around at what you have now, you could find something new...." She tilted her head with a hopeful smile, letting go of Seraphim's cheeks. Seraphim had Minerva's heart in the palm of her hand right now. She hoped that Seraphim understood what she was trying to sau. Minerva knew that whatever Seraphim had been through it was surely very painful and She wasn't telling her to get over hwhat had happend or to forget about people that made her happy before. She hoped that maybe Seraphim could find a spot in her heart for new faces for new people and see that she had something very special right now and she could find in the new friends, family and lovers something to hang on to.

Minerva had faith in Seraphim and hoped that she wouldn't reject what she was trying to say. If she di, if she flat out refused to see what was right before her, Minerva was afraid she might just crumble right then and there. It would be like saying that Seraphim really would never be able to heal, that she didn't want to and anyone who tried to help her was a fool for wasting their time. She couldn't believe that. After all she had seen from Seraphim sdhe knew the woman was a kind woman and hurt very deeply and really wanted love and security but had been so far removed from it for so long, that she didn't even know how to react when it was presented to her.

Seraphim felt whimsically lost in her own little world of memories right now. She begun seeing the faces of all the people she lost, everyone she ever cared or loved like family. Everyone who was once a part of her life... but was now gone. All she had left was Alison, and even then, the two probably didn't have much time left together, but it wasn't because of Alison's illness... Seraphim was the one with little time left. All these thoughts remained lingering in her mind, slowly resurfacing after her near death experiance, but they didn't bother her. No, Seraphim felt like she was embracing these memories right now...

But, when Minerva looked her in the eye once again, and she felt Minerva's palm cup her chin, Seraphim was snapped out of her depressing trip down memory lane. The girl started to pour her heart into every word she said, and it left Seraphim speecheless at first, stunned to hear such deep words coming from Minerva, and she didn't stop her. Seraphim just sat there, listening to every word her friend... her sister continued to tell her, making Seraphim really think over ever word that was said, not exactly sure how to respond. All that was left after all those words was Minerva's gentle, caring smile, and a watery tear lingering in Seraphim's one eye.

"I.... had no idea you felt that way." Seraphim said slowly, still a bit shocked to see the mousy girl really take a stand and express her feelings like that. But slowly, she composed herself, taking a long, audable breath and sighing, subconsciously wiping the wetness that was from the corner of her crimson eye, trying not to appear weak. "Honestly I... don't know what to say. You're right... god damn you couldn't be more right..." She forced a soft, pained laugh at the end of that, shaking her head a little like she was admitting defeat, but continued on. "It's just... what do you want me to say? That I have hope? I see change? Or that.. no matter how much I want to beleive that, I know it won't matter in the end. Do you want me to tell you about my personal Hells? Or how I'm waiting for the day to actually be there myself because I know I don't have long? Take your pick... because I don't know." Her words almost sounded upset, like she was fed up in trying. And honestly, Seraphim was getting too confused by these mixed emotions and memories, leading her into a frusterated spiral right now. She was glad Minerva was trying to help, but she just didn't know how to deal with this all...

Minerva had a weak smile on her face when she watched Seraphim become overwhelmed with emotion. She felt her heart sink a little bit and wanted to tear up as well. The atmosphere in the air was tightening up her stomach but it wasn't all bad. To Minerva it seemed like a drama where there was a really emotional part and even though you knew everything would be alright, you still tensed up and even cried. "I feel that way, Sera-san." She almost whispered the words. "But without you, I... I might never have had the conviction to say them." She lowered her head in shame. "But Sera-Sangives me the strength to be amazing!" She shouted the last part with pride. "So, for Sera-San, Mine-chan will reach deep into her heart and do the same for Sera-san!" She then smiled. "Even though Sera-San is already amazing."

"I want Sera-San to live happily." She said simply. "B-but... for someone who carries a heavy burden...." She lowered her head in both thought and shame. "Sera-San isn't weak, she is strong, but even strong people will be crushed if they carry too much weight." She looked up at Sera-San with weak and confused eyes. "But even though Mine-chan is weak, she wants to carry a little bit of that weight, even if it only makes one step of Sera-San's lighter... Please..." She begged.

Minerva then inhaled deeply. "If you had no idea when you were going to die, would you live differently? W-would you then allow joy into your heart? Sera-San!" She called out. "Is it because you have done bad things that you want to live like you have already been judged?" Her body was shaking, she really didn't know entirely what she was saying.

She closed her eyes to shut out the tears, forcing a few out. Her body became rigid but she spoke with conviction. "No matter what, Sera-San is a good person! For her there IS hope and and ... and shame on anyone who wouldn't forgive her for the things she's done! Because Sera-San is... she is kind! And wherever she is, in this life or the next she should be filled with joy and surrounded with happiness!" Minerva fell to her hands and knees panting and sweating as tears fell out of her now open eyes. Her tiny little body was still shaking though. These emotions were wearing her out more than any of the training they had done.

With every word that Minerva said, Seraphim listened like they were coming from an angel. She could see how hard this was on Minerva, and she felt guilty for dragging the girl into her problems, but the fact that she was so willing to help, and admitted how she loved her like a sister, it made Seraphim's heart skip a beat, almost enough that it hurt. It felt amazing to know she had someone else to love like family, but at the same time, there was that bitter feeling of regret in knowing one day, she would once again feel that pain of losing her. After all...

'...Eventually, everyone I ever loved dies...'

She was going to lose her... Seraphim could see in her mind that some how, some way, Minerva's life would end and she would even be to blame. It happened to everyone else, God always took away the people she cared about; she was destined to be alone.

Though, when Minerva said those last words though, wondering why Seraphim acted like she was always being judged for the bad things she had done, and that shw was a good, kind person, even someone as strong as Serpahim couldn't bare it any more. Minerva may not have realized it, but her words dug deeper than anything else ever could, no bullet or blade could ever go this deep and cause this kind of pain. And as Minerva sank to her hands and knees, she couldn't stop herself from catching the girl, and alling to her knees with her. Her arms wrapped sightly around Minerva's shoulders and back, holding her tightly and close, before suddenly... she cried. Her tears were silent, her body never even shaking at all, proving how rock-steady Seraphim always was, but tears flowed from her single crimson-eye with no signs of stopping, just holding her sister close, finding a strange sense of comfort from it all, like she could let out these tears she was always holding back.

Minerva's eyes splashed open when she found herself suddenly caught and embraced. Seraphim was hugging her tightly than she had ever been hugged before. But even with the tightness and seemingly rigid grip she was in, Minerva knew. She closed her eyes halfway and let the tears flow from her eyes. They came out freely and they were not tears of unease or distress. They were mixed with relief and a little joy and kindness. She Squeezed Seraphim tightly in return and was silent as well. She was unable to hold her shaking body as she nestled into Seraphim.

I have to be strong for Sera-San. I am weak for everyone, even myself but Sera-San is strong for everyone! The last part she was thinking she said aloud, not sure how or why she managed. "This time... it's ok to trade places." She whispered, hugging Seraphim tightly. "Mine-chan will always be strong for Sera-San." She closed her eyes again. "Since Sera-San is strong for everyone else, especially Mine-chan who is too weak for her own good." She winced at the words and mentally cursed herself. She brought her hand up and ran it through Seraphim's white haior soothingly to try and ease her more. She seemed to have considered her last attmempt at verbal comfort was an abysmal failure.

The time Seraphim spent being this close to Minerva felt like it was lasting for hours. She didn't want to let go, and instead just wanted to remain here, feeling like hever so slowly her pains were numbing. Even if it was just temporary; like a band-aid over cancer, it was still enough to let Seraphim forget, even for just these few moments, being able to forget it all meant so much to her. Minerva reminded her just how much people cared about her... She had Tracy, Megumi, Phoebe, Sindel, Sharaiya, Minerva of course, and even a few others. Ever since she came here to the AFW, her life felt like it was taking a turn... and Minerva was helping her realize this.

As her silent tears continued to follow, Seraphim very slowly eased away from her, hands still resting gently around Minerva, but opening her watery, crimson eye as she looked at the girl, forcing a small, pained smile through it all, and planting a delicate little kiss on the girl's forehead, as if to tell her things were going to be okay. "...Thank you." She whispered, her hands rubbing softly along Minerva's back, letting the whole moment just rest her aching soul, and feeling like the burdon was beginning to lift thanks to Minerva.

Minerva was silent as she looked over Seraphim's more stoic form. She inhaled deeply , tenseing up just a bit when Seraphim pulled away. When the white haired woman greeted her with a weak smile, Minerva beamed brightly, smiling geiuinely and happily at her friend and sister. She let out a soft squeak when she was kissed on the forehead. "Tahnk you... Sera-San..." She whispered when she was thanked and leaned in and gave her a peck on the forehead.

"Without Sera-San, I might have continued to be soo weak... and even though Mine-chan is still a delicate flower, she knows that she can do more than just wonder what it's like to be strong like Sera-San!" Her eyes were wide and she nodded with conviction. "This is what sisters do for each other Swera-San!" She cmiled even wider. "To be able to help Sera-San makes Mine-chan so happy she could burst!"

Today, Minerva really helped open Seraphim's eyes. It was kind of funny actually.. Seraphim had come here to train the girl, and yet Seraphim was the one who learned a valuable lesson. She had always thought that somewhere deep inside Minerva was a potential, but for someone as frail and withdrawn as Minerva was, she had really proven to be a stronger person, inside and out.

Through out there exchange, Seraphim's smile grew a little more, especially when Minerva even offered a small little kiss right back onto Seraphim's forehead, getting a tender little blush in her pale cheeks, even chuckling a little to herself, keeping one arm wrapped around Minerva's shoulders, just finding comfort in this as the two remained on the roof, the sun starting to set. "If that's the case, then I'll make it a promise that no matter what, I'll do what I can to make sure my sister is happy, because she means that much to me." Seraphim said with a hopeful, optimistic tone before she turned her head to look at the shorter girl, showing her smile at the girl, the grin looking a little goofy as she gave that cheesy, toothed smile, just to get a laugh from the girl and lighten the mood.