Sayonara, Koguma

Akashi blinked. "I thought Bucky-kun just liked to hit on all the pretty girls. Do you really think he might like, like Nicole?" She tilted her head to look past Cassie to where the two sisters were and then sat down next to Cassie. "What if she's just really nice? Isn't she in Friction for hentai? Or, does Bucky want that kind of challenge?" Now she was a little curious and began to think about it seriously until Cassie spoke again.

"Uhm... I haven't, actually." She said. "I haven't really seen Johnny-kun either, though. I thought they just snuck off to get frisky, but..." She paused. "I'm pretty sure they aren't that bad." She grinned. "Why?" She asked and looked at Cassie. "Are you worried? Do you want me to try and find her?"

"Um, no. I'm sure she's... somewhere."

Cassie folded her hands neatly in her lap. With her impending departure looming in the near future, talking to Akashi seemed surreal. She had spent every day with her for years, but now that she was about to leave, they almost seemed like estranged old friends. She felt the effects before she ever left.

"That's not Bucky at all," she shook her head. "He likes to play, but he's not like... He's not like most guys here. He's respectful. Or at least he'd better be! Heh."

Quickly, her mind was drawn back to what was really on her mind. "Do you think..." She drew a breath. "I'm worried that..." She paused again, and pursed her lips, and then tried again. "I don't want my leaving to make people feel bad."

Akashi chuckled at Cassie's admonishment of her brother. "I'm sure if Nicole-san isn't into him, he'll figure it out pretty quickly." She said.

She then turned her head a bit as Cassie spoke. She chewed on her lip. She didn't really have words for Cassie's dilemma. In some ways, Cassie had filled a hole in her heart and now that she was leaving, there would be an even bigger hole. Akashi just felt like no matter what she tried, all she could do was stifle the feeling for a time or make it bigger. She could never shrink it and it had been growing since she was very little.

Akashi scooched forward and reached out for Cassie's hand and held it tightly, their green eyes meeting. "Yes, but... It's ok to have that worry. Maybe it would be weird if you didn't worry about that at least a little bit. Of course no one wants you to leave. Everyone here loves you so, so much." Akashi smiled at Cassie. "But no one wants to see you unhappy, either. If you're happy, then we're all happy and that is the truth."

Akashi lowered her head and let her hair fall around her face. "You've never made me feel bad in my life, Cassie-chan. Please..." Akashi sniffed. "Let me try to alleviate your worries... I'll make sure to keep Taylor-chan in line for you, ok? I'll make sure that those two sisters stay on the right course and that everyone in the dojo works their hardest and makes the most of everything they do. I'll make sure that things run smoothly here, ok? So, you don't have to worry about anything at all."

A feeling of gratitude warmed Cassie's chest and brought a genuine smile to her face. She leaned to the side and hugged Akashi with one gentle squeeze.

"Thanks, Akashi." She bumped her head against the big sumo's shoulder. "I haven't been happy in a long time. Not since... Talia. But I love all you guys very much. I think... You can be with people you love and still not be happy. I hope I can figure out what it is that makes you happy... When I left home, I left my family behind, and I never dreamed I'd be gone this long, or that I could be gone so long without going crazy! But now, I'm leaving again, and I'm going back to them but I'm leaving you guys, and..."

She stared down at the floor with a distant, forlorn expression for several seconds before she could finish. "It's like no matter where I go, there's always someone missing."

Akashi put her arm around Cassie and hugged her tightly while she smiled behind her hair. She understood the conflicting nature, maybe better than anyone else. She'd left people, had people leave her. She was always searching for the place where her heart was overflowing.

However, when Cassie finished, Akashi began to silently cry. She didn't want Cassie to hear it and hugged her even tighter.

"I've been trying to fill a hole my whole life." She whispered. "I've never really been unhappy, but I've always felt alone. It must be strange for someone like me to say that, but... I ... don't know... I was still struggling to get over the loss of my father when I met Mina-chan. Maybe, I still am. Maybe I always will. I never seemed to fit in with the rest of my family. I loved them, of course, but... I felt like an outsider. My brothers, especially Nee-sama, were always trying their best to fill the role of father figure because I was so much younger. I thought when I had found Mina-chan, that I had found my soulmate... But, that didn't work out..."

"You, really helped me get through that, Cassie-chan. You helped me fill a void that I didn't think I could. Taylor-chan is my sister and we'll always be together no matter what, but she also has Johnny-kun. She's got a place to lay her head down at night and I can only take up so much of her time. I guess, you helped me through that too. But, I ... started to feel like maybe I was putting too much on you and so I started looking and, I thought maybe I could find someone and..."


Akashi paused. "Maybe I'm worried that somehow I might be responsible for you leaving. I mean, I don't think that, but... maybe..." She started to falter. She hugged Cassie even tighter. "Just don't think badly for missing you. I want you to be happy, really." She said and smiled behind her hair. "And, don't think that way about anyone else, either. Everything is going to work out, ok? I love you, Cassie-chan."

While Akashi struggled not to cry, Cassie remained dry-eyed and composed. "I'm not leaving because of you," she said quietly. "I'm more proud that I was able to help you than I am of anything I did in my wrestling career. I wish..."

A resigned, troubled look came over her, and she sighed deeply. She knew it was futile, but there was no point in holding back now.

"Then come to Canada. If I could have anything in the world, I would have you come with me. I... Can't bear the thought of how Taylor would feel... But I wish she'd come too. I can't imagine being any happier than if we were all home together."

She took on a slightly pleading tone as she began to rationalize it. "You lost your dad, but you've met mine, and Taylor's the same. You and Taylor and the Higurashi's could all come home with me, and we could all be together with people who love us and doing what we love. It would be so perfect. It's..." She slowed down, and sobered. "It's a perfect dream. Just... You are always welcome at my house, for the rest of your life."

Akashi smiled. "I still have a lot to do here. I'm no where near done. Despite the hole inside me, I still burn with passion for what I do. But, I'll visit often, I promise, and when I'm ready to hang up my mawashi, maybe I'll end up in Canada. I've wanted to start up a school when I retire and I hear wrestling is big in Canada. Maybe I can drag Taylor-chan with me." Akashi sighed. "Ahhh... That could be fun... But... I still might miss Japan..."

Gabbie appeared suddenly at the entrance to the room and looked at the cuddling girls. She blinked and turned her head. "I thought you had a boyfriend?" She teased, mumbling, though her voice was straight laced.

"Anyway, someone's here." She said and left.

"Can you get that, please, Cassie-chan? I'm such a mess, right now. Everyone's here to see you anyway."

"Well, the offer's open."

Cassie made a face at Gabbie when she appeared. "Hi, Gabber Gabbers," she said in a funny voice. She nodded to Akashi and hopped off the bed, and skipped her way to the front door.

"Ooooohaaaaaayooooooooo, goooozaaaaiiiiimaaa-" She pulled open the door and froze. "Oh."

"Hello, Cassie-san."

Mamouru smiled politely when he saw Cassie. His head tilted downward a bit but he continued to look in her eyes. "I don't need to stay long, or at all." He said. "I just decided I wanted to speak to you before you left. I wanted to say goodbye."

Mamouru lifted up his head and smiled.

"M-Mamouru!"

Cassie checked behind her and slipped outside, closing the door behind her. She folded her arms and peered up at Mamouru, her chin tucked shyly but with her shoulders back.

"Hi," she said. "I guess it wouldn't have been right to leave without saying that, huh?"