Re: Improvement/Critique Thread

by **Old_Man_Tai** Fri Jan 03, 2014 5:28 am

For whatever its worth, I really like you layouts, makes things nice and orderly.

I might rip you off. My own profiles are chaotic. XD

by Cirno Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:01 pm

Go right ahead, I don't mind one bit. ;D

by XSirenX Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:57 pm

[quote="Cirno":17505ydq]Go right ahead, I don't mind one bit. ;D

Your CIRNO, what does that name mean to you?~

by Cirno Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:18 pm

That I'm the strongest.

by **Deus001** Sun Feb 02, 2014 7:54 pm

Since I've had extra time at home and not many RP's to attend to I've begun to wonder what people are thinking of my characters, namely team mental and John Carnaby and if there's anything I could do better with them. I'm looking for constructive PM's and not bashes BTW.

by **killcarrion** Fri Mar 07, 2014 1:05 am

Hey all. Just thought I'd offer myself up to criticism and critiquing as well, seems only fair. I know I may have a small roster with few matches to their name but any advice on my role-playing or roster would be appreciated before I move forward with my other ideas for characters. Oh, and send your opinions through PM's please, I get the feeling people might be more honest that way. And please be constructive with your judgment, that's all I ask.

I'll be combing through the rest of this thread as well for some guidance.

by **acuyra** Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:40 am

I'm still getting my feet wet with a lot of things here, I think - I know I come off as hyperactive and maybe a little bit annoying at times, but it's just because I really enjoy writing. I'm just...eager to do it as much as I can.

But I also want to do it as well as I can. One of the things I really want to focus on in is giving each of my characters a distinct voice in narration - basically, I think you should be able to take any one or two sentences from any of my characters, even without context, and know that different characters are being RPed even if you don't see any names. Word-choice, sentence structure, things like that - each character should read differently. So if anyone has any pointers or tips in that diretion, I'd greatly appreciate the input.

I'm also trying to improve on making dialogue feel natural.

by Kitten Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:43 pm

[url:2lk0t50l]http://lmgtfy.com/?q=making+dialogue+sound+natural[/url:2lk0t50l]

Maybe you should read what pros, people who write for a living, have to say about that. I doubt people who write fanfic porn can offer better insight on how to write dialogues than writers...

What we can do is tell you about the differences between writing dialogues in a novel and in a RP.

In a RP you usually talk for one character since you only control the actions of one character. There isn't actually a dialogue unless the other player engages in it.

Writing conversations in RPs becomes a bit problematic thus and it is easy to fall in the trap of writing too much of a monologue, making it impossible to follow a single thread of conversation.

Sometimes it happens that the characters are having TWO different conversations at the same time. Like one character making two completely unrelated questions in one post or talking about two subjects in one post. This is usually because people try to do too much in a single post.

Example:

"So... how was your match against that girl?" Himiko asked, crossing her arms in front of her as she looked at her former rival trying to look cool. "You look nice in that dress. Where you got it?"

Due the peculiar nature of this forum, it is common for characters to have conversations while engaging in other activities, like wrestling. No matter how ludicrous that is, it is thematically correct for Anime, but when people make long posts, sometimes the dialogue is lost and the other person is too focused on the physical action to pay attention to the talk and simply doesn't answers.

That is the reason why I use COLOR TAGS for characters speech. It is an easy way for people to notice that something was said and may require an answer from their characters.

So my suggestion is use color tags for speech, make sure you only have one thread of dialogue and, as far as possible, put the dialogue at the END of your posts, that way you'll have a better chance of getting the other player to answer to it.

Also avoid mysteries and foreshadowing, it rarely works in RPs unless everybody knows about it, which kind of ruins the whole point of it. Say what you want to say and be as direct as possible.

by Alexandra Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:51 pm

[quote="Kitten":34qbn31w]
That is the reason why I use COLOR TAGS for characters speech. It is an easy way for people to notice that something was said and may require an answer from their characters.

Is this really why people use color for their dialogue?

Shouldn't people notice that something was said by...y'know, actually reading what the other person wrote?

by **acuyra** Wed Mar 19, 2014 5:02 pm

I just did them because everyone else was doing them and I wanted to be cool. <img src=

" title="Embarrassed" /> I guess I kind of see the reasoning behind it, though for me it helps because my computer screen is a mess and it helps me distinguish things.

Thank you for the input, Kitten.

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