Search
Latest topics
» A helping hand? (feat. Dirk Lewser)by CrashTestDumbass Today at 6:06 am
» All of blade/speranza wreslters
by Blade/speranza Today at 4:47 am
» The Belly Olympics: Day One
by Mystery Dragon Today at 2:44 am
» Gyro Zeppeli vs Blanc and Noir - Cowboys and Bunnies
by hunter of speed Today at 1:22 am
» Live To Serve (For Scourger)
by Deus001 Today at 12:29 am
Who is online?
In total there are 98 users online :: 1 Registered, 0 Hidden and 97 Guests :: 2 BotsChaos
Most users ever online was 418 on Tue Jul 30, 2019 9:51 am
Champions & #1 contenders
All of blade/speranza wreslters
Sun Apr 07, 2024 12:00 am by Blade/speranza
If you ant a march with any of thme let me know this is also a post for them
Sperzana bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22432-speranza-doncy?highlight=Speranza
Blade bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22536-blade-mccharge-the-blade-of-the-world?highlight=blade
Catherine: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22906-catherine-the-great-celestial?highlight=Catherine
Sperzana bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22432-speranza-doncy?highlight=Speranza
Blade bio: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22536-blade-mccharge-the-blade-of-the-world?highlight=blade
Catherine: https://www.afwrpg.com/t22906-catherine-the-great-celestial?highlight=Catherine
Comments: 1
Improvement/Critique Thread
+57
Kelsea
godjacob
Jaystar
Berial
ReikoH
WrestleMind
PlaymakerBD
SleeperAgent94
LtLukas
LARIATO
Mystery Dragon
RadiantKarna332
Vcom7418
M.J.Caboose14
bricktown
Teenwrestler
TheWamts
Sylvie
scorn53
PV
Winner3
Zithpith
acuyra
killcarrion
Lunchador
dlamp
KillerV
Kounoko
TekRobo
Cy_Man
XSirenX
Deus001
hamish1024
jakeb1993
daemongirl
Clyton
Underdog21
Harrier
Dice007
Alexandra
Lobo
kerflubble
dragonswill
LunarWolf
Viralsurge_24
beangraff
Kitten
d_ultsch
Hawthorne22
zxn666
Cirno
anegge
Jizzelle
Bluemouse
Old_Man_Tai
Ryoku
Tatyina
61 posters
Page 20 of 28
Page 20 of 28 • 1 ... 11 ... 19, 20, 21 ... 24 ... 28
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
I like color tags because it's easier on the eyes, and friendly text is nicer to read.
And I really don't agree with any of Kitten's points. Why would you put the dialog at the end, and not where it belongs in the context of the rest of the action? Also, if it's always at the end, it's always far away from the dialog the character was responding to.
And if foreshadowing doesn't work for you, practice makes perfect. " title="Razz" />
My big suggestion if you want to at least develop an identifiable flavor for your characters, if not actual depth, is to not try to write nine at one time. Supporting roles are one thing and can be done with just a little color, but larger roles require some depth, and that comes from attention and energy and all that junk that for me gets spread thin pretty quickly with multiple characters.
And I really don't agree with any of Kitten's points. Why would you put the dialog at the end, and not where it belongs in the context of the rest of the action? Also, if it's always at the end, it's always far away from the dialog the character was responding to.
And if foreshadowing doesn't work for you, practice makes perfect. " title="Razz" />
My big suggestion if you want to at least develop an identifiable flavor for your characters, if not actual depth, is to not try to write nine at one time. Supporting roles are one thing and can be done with just a little color, but larger roles require some depth, and that comes from attention and energy and all that junk that for me gets spread thin pretty quickly with multiple characters.
Bluemouse- Posts : 11144
Join date : 2010-10-13
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
My big suggestion if you want to at least develop an identifiable flavor for your characters, if not actual depth, is to not try to write nine at one time. Supporting roles are one thing and can be done with just a little color, but larger roles require some depth, and that comes from attention and energy and all that junk that for me gets spread thin pretty quickly with multiple characters.
That's a fair point, I think.
Initially, I made characters to fill certain roles and match-types - like a character for hardcore matches, a guy for more serious matches, a guy for less serious matches, and I didn't plan on using them immediately...but I get antsy, sometimes. >_>
A lot of things didn't go quite as planned - like, for, instance, I didn't anticipate doing as much with Ninjette as I wound up doing, but some people asked to do matches with her, and they're leading to more social things, so now I'm considering giving her more of the focus I'd initially planned for others. And I like that, really - I like a certain level of spontaneity in RPing, I think it's a big part of the fun.
But I do need to get a better handle on what I want to do with whom and how I want to do and what focus I should be giving everyone - I agree with you, there.
Thanks!
i
_________________
acuyra- Posts : 19142
Join date : 2014-02-14
Age : 37
Location : Charlotte, North Carolina, WOOOO!
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
Ok then, i am going to throw my hat in and look for some constructive advice. Not hate or burns of any kind.
_________________
That Foe list is growing bigger by the day!
My Charas
Jennifer Hanson - The All American Pro-Wrestler
Ayaka Kurata
Souko Kawamoto
Jacob Blake
Shiyomi Tanikawa
Yvette King
jakeb1993- Posts : 1748
Join date : 2012-05-27
Age : 30
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
I think anyone posting here would be more likely to get responses by being more specific, like "how's my grammar" or "does this character sound believable?"
Bluemouse- Posts : 11144
Join date : 2010-10-13
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
I know it would, but i am looking for critique on anything, from my characters to my writing.
_________________
That Foe list is growing bigger by the day!
My Charas
Jennifer Hanson - The All American Pro-Wrestler
Ayaka Kurata
Souko Kawamoto
Jacob Blake
Shiyomi Tanikawa
Yvette King
jakeb1993- Posts : 1748
Join date : 2012-05-27
Age : 30
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
I am looking for feedback about my posts. Are they okay? Are they getting longer? Do they need to be longer to be better etc
_________________
That Foe list is growing bigger by the day!
My Charas
Jennifer Hanson - The All American Pro-Wrestler
Ayaka Kurata
Souko Kawamoto
Jacob Blake
Shiyomi Tanikawa
Yvette King
jakeb1993- Posts : 1748
Join date : 2012-05-27
Age : 30
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
Length =/= quality! " title="Mad" />
It's not the length, it's how you use it.
It's not the length, it's how you use it.
Bluemouse- Posts : 11144
Join date : 2010-10-13
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
That's what she said. :V
...I'll just see myself out now.
...I'll just see myself out now.
Alexandra- Posts : 10846
Join date : 2009-06-21
Age : 38
Location : Neo Cyber City, 3 A.M.
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
Also as a character, what does everyone think about Toshiko?
_________________
That Foe list is growing bigger by the day!
My Charas
Jennifer Hanson - The All American Pro-Wrestler
Ayaka Kurata
Souko Kawamoto
Jacob Blake
Shiyomi Tanikawa
Yvette King
jakeb1993- Posts : 1748
Join date : 2012-05-27
Age : 30
Re: Improvement/Critique Thread
Hey, folks, just thought I'd throw my hat into the ring for some criticism, here. Jumped at this earlier, but (as was rightly pointed out to me) it was much too early to get a good sense of my RP. Been a bit more active, lately (and will likely be more active for awhile, now, unless anything changes), so now that I've had a chance to get more RP in with more folks, I kind of wanted to ask how I was doing.
In particular, I'd like to know if there are any tics or turns of phrase I'm relying on too much, if my characters are individually interesting (or, conversely, are any of them flat-out boring or annoying?), and how I'm doing with my "selling" of other character's moves (too much? too little?). Any pointers or advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Edit to Add: Also, I'd kind of like to know if posting more often has lead to a decline in my post quality. Kind of been worrying about that.
In particular, I'd like to know if there are any tics or turns of phrase I'm relying on too much, if my characters are individually interesting (or, conversely, are any of them flat-out boring or annoying?), and how I'm doing with my "selling" of other character's moves (too much? too little?). Any pointers or advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
Edit to Add: Also, I'd kind of like to know if posting more often has lead to a decline in my post quality. Kind of been worrying about that.
Last edited by 11683 on Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:08 am; edited 1 time in total
Lunchador- Posts : 1626
Join date : 2013-05-30
Page 20 of 28 • 1 ... 11 ... 19, 20, 21 ... 24 ... 28
Similar topics
» Friendly critique thread?
» RP Improvement
» Not sure if this belongs in the wrestling thread or the song thread.
» MMA Thread?
» This thread says it all.
» RP Improvement
» Not sure if this belongs in the wrestling thread or the song thread.
» MMA Thread?
» This thread says it all.
Page 20 of 28
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum