First time in Black

The slap stunned Adrian, sending her falling back onto her knees, as she tried to look up at Cecilia. Still shaking as she pulled the glove off her right hand. "What's the point? I mean I know I'm gonna lose no matter what I try to do. Last time I got in that mess I got this!" She cried out pointing to the large scar covering her right hand, "All being stubborn got me was hurt and humiliated..." she sobbed. "All fighting does is make everybody hate me..."

Cecilia had just about had it with Adrian and her negative attitude, she wanted to do something else maybe hit her again, maybe just leave and let her be alone would be best, so that she wouldn't hurt her or anything, but when Adrian brought out her sob story about last time she tried she got a hurt hand, and now it was like the most annoying thing ever, Cecilia backed off and brushed a side her hair of her shoulder, where she had a scare from her match with Gatt.

She pointed at it and looked at Adrian, " What do you think happened to me! I lost okay! you have any idea how bad I felt, Not only that I got my haircut, Humiliated and I got my friends involved in all this crap!" Cecilia shouted out at Adrian, before she stretched out to stand as tall as she could and take a deep breath, to calm down, " But I still fight! I still come back swinging, I go after the bitch that did that to me! you should as well, go after her, beat her one on one fair and square and show every one who is the best! " Cecilia said as she tried to sound all heroic and cool, " That is what I am going to do, I am going to get Gatt to treat me with at least some regard, cause now! all she sees me as is some bitch who she beat down....just look everyone else, I will beat her and show her and everyone else who is the best there is !" Cecilia finally shouted out as she then started to walk up to Adrian.

She knew Cecilia was trying her best to encourage her, but Adrian just ended up feeling worse as she sat down on the mat. Curling up into a small ball "...It really is nothing really..." she whispered to herself looking at her badly scarred hand. "I get the weakest beat down ever and I pass out... I'm undefeated, yet I'm always so far behind everyone else." she said quietly as though she didn't want her friend to hear her demented thought process. Useless... Her mind screamed, the dark part coming back in full force as she quickly tucked her head in, so Cecilia wouldn't be able to see the tears.

"Sorry Cec..." She choked out in between the sobs "Guess I'm just... I'm making a huge deal out of nothing, I mean everyone else's suffered way more than me, right? Why should I be the one... crying her eyes out because she can't do anything right!?"

Cecilia looked on as Adrian curled up into a ball, the though act and the heroic act wasn't going to help with Adrian, then perhaps the awesome wise and calm mentor act might work, Cecilia would moved to sit next to Adrian, as she would take her hand and begin to rub it and stroke it carefully on Adrian's back, being quite gentle, as she tried to calm Adrian and help her out a little perhaps.

" Addy...*sigh* you're the only one I know that seemed to be able to be in a good mood through hardships that we went through, you came in an saved me...if not I might have been bald, and who knows where Gatt would have stopped? you saved me .....you have helped me train...you helped me get happy after I wanted nothing than disappear and leave this all behind...I was hoping that you got over this all about you being weak...you have said all this before to me Adrian...I know what Taylor did...I know that you don't like it...and I know that you got hurt and that it was tough....but come one Addy, You don't have to be sad about crying in front of me, I cried in front of well everyone I knew at the bar so ....what does that make me...no one can go on in this life without crying, In fact the weak are does who doesn't cry, cause those are the people who hide from their feeling and hide from their emotions, do you get what I'm saying ?" Cecilia said as she was starting to become unsure of what she was saying, but she still kept up the persona of someone wise, and strong trying to talk to a young hero.

Adrian shivered when Cecilia dropped down and rubbed her hand along the masked wrestlers back.

"I...I lost a lot, that match." She tried to explain "I went crazy...I tried to kill her...I couldn't stop myself..." she sobbed, taking the mask off her head. The inside had become slimy and damp from the tears, pooling at the bottom of her chin before dripping off onto the mat. "I lost my mind." the de-masked cosplayer said grimly "But even then. Even when I was willing to do whatever it takes, when I was going to rip her throat out! ...I still got my ass kicked." Adrian let a sarcastic chuckle out "Nat said its not like a school, but some things don't change... I mean back in elementary I was bullied so I took karate lessons. Only found out the bullies were like black belts or something... always the bottom rung." she mused before going back to her sob story, not caring how Cecilia was probably getting really annoyed and probably wanted to slap her.

"Both my mind and my body gave out on me. Everyone saw her just destroy me... but I still won. I passed out, hand shredded, mind broken. But it's still one in the W column. Just another on the long list of people I didn't deserve to beat."

"I tried... I really tried to get over it! I won a match fair and square! I actually kept the ranking spot... but, every time Taylor spoke... I got angry, and sad. I know she should be the one in the rankings, not me." She sighed as she brought up the mask, looking at the face, wiping imaginary tears off it's cheek.

"I...this mask... I thought it'd be great, new start, new me. Everyone knows Adrian Kytes cheats and that they should be mean to her just so she can't stab you in the back." the cosplayer dipped into the third person "But... I thought I could get away. That I didn't need therapy. That I could just have a new me there. Not someone who's not afraid of stuff... but... someone who could play fair, and get people to like her and stuff, maybe not give up so easily, maybe... if I beat Taylor wearing the mask I wouldn't have to be so upset. But... guess I can't escape... disguise wasn't good enough. You figured it out before I could start to sort of distance Bullet Ant from Adrian... that probably sounds crazy, doesn't it?"

Cecilia was sitting next to Adrian trying to calm her down and help her friend, but hearing what she was saying, she could understand why she was upset, Cecilia listened to her friend, all she wanted to do was to help Adrian, she needed to be the good friend, but being friends was still sort of odd for Cecilia, she had never had many real friends, and the fact was that Cat had been her only friend, and she was never one to really get down like this, other than that Cecilia hadn't had much experience in what one would do to friend, she had to just do what felt natural and what felt right.

" Adrian...I understand what you mean...I understand everything you say okay, you don't need to say anything else, it may be a bit different, but you aren't the only one with a bully that looms over you, you may have gained a win, you may not think you deserve it....I can't say if you do or don't, But I get everything you are saying...You don't know how often I have thought about getting another match with Sarah and getting a chance to take her down....but there is always that thought in anyones head...you know that thought that says...what if I fail...what would I do then you know, I am not sure really, but Adrian, your problems aren't small, they are just as important as mine you got that, in fact to you it's more important and means more, same to me, my problems...it's just means a lot to me you know...I need to fight my demons, and my well *Bully* i guess...you know what I mean ?" Cecilia talked out to Adrian as she kept stroking her, she wanted to keep her friend calm and well this didn't seem like the best place for them to spend their time like this, not in the middle of the ring, in the AFW gym.

Cecilia kept listening to what Adrian was saying and it wasn't really all that nice to hear, but she had to sympathize whit, " Adrian would never stab anyone one in the back, I don't know about Bullet Ant though, But Adrian wouldn't ! she's loyal and strong, and an awesome friend!" Cecilia said as she would try and start to pull Adrian up to a sitting position next to her, " you see Adrian, you don't have to be anyone else, but I get why, every one wants to someone else sometime, how about you continue this ? and why not stop giving up all the time ? come on, you have to try as hard as me okay ? no matter what I don't give up until I have been defeated! and If I am I just come back swinging, so just come on and start fighting back all the time, never stop reaching for the Sky Adrian" Cecilia said with a smile as she would then try to pat Adrian on her head a little.

Adrian was listening to what Cecilia said more, maybe she needed to get it off her chest more than anything. But hearing Cecilia try and calm her, pulling the cosplayer in close while she patted her head. "I'm... not sure how to... but I'll try." She sniffed, trying to throw her arms around her for a brief hug before she pulled away and placed the mask back on. "How'd you get to be so strong?" She asked, still sniffing with all the tears trapped in her mask but with a much lighter tone. "If it's sparring with friends... well, I don't wanna go crazy and attack you or Becks in a mean way. I mean you could probably take it but... It wouldn't be good." Bullet Ant guessed. "But if you want too..." the masked wrestler picked herself up, shaking her head as to try and get rid of any tears. "I can at least try, right? Even if you can like knock me out in one hit."

Cecilia liked that Adrian seemed to be getting better at least, she kinda had to admit that things hadn't been easy for her, and that she tried to just do the best she could, it was either sit around and feel sorry for herself or go back out there and make sure that she could fix that problem, it was beating those who thought they were better than her.

Cecilia hugged Adrian back as she was given that brief hug, " That's all we can do Addy, all we can ever do is try...sooner or later things will go our way right " Cecilia said with a friendly tone and a happy wink to Adrian.

At the mention about how she got so strong, Cecilia stopped up and thought for a moment, " Ehm...strong ?...I guess work out and you know being a viking queen and such kinda helps " Cecilia said with a joking tone.

" Addy! Go crazy all you want ! I don't mind, what do you think me and Becks do" Cecilia said with a smile at Adrian as she then began to move up to her feet as Adrian did, and keep a smile up at her, " Addy ? can I ask you something ? I know this might sound weird but....NOT TRYING TO BRING YOUR MOOD DOWN OR ANYTHING..but...well do you think I got a shot you know...that I stand a chance ?" Cecilia said as she looked as sort of a mix of serious and happy, she kinda wanted to know what she though, and if Adrian even believed that she had any chance at doing well anything really.

"Not what I meant," Adrian said with a slight frown, thankfully hidden by her mask "I already know being related to guys who could be naked in snow and not feel anything makes you super strong."

"Wait, you don't think you're good enough?" She repeated "Cec, you're like super-me. I mean, you're really strong, really good. I mean, you think I'm good at stuff, and you're super-me so that makes you... yeah!" Bullet Ant wasn't exactly sure what Cecilia meant by standing a chance, but still. She did really think of the Swede as someone to aspire to be. Strong, confident, se-nope, not going there. The thought of her being the one with self doubt never really occurred to her. "Okay, I'm ready to start again if you want to." She said, jumping up and down on the spot, trying to get the blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing. See if she can get herself back in the right mindset

Cecilia did know that wasn't what Adrian meant, but she kinda wanted to teas a little, and it was pretty funny in some regard, " I know that not what you meant...but I didn't have an answer for why I am so *strong*..I mean I kinda had to be so I became it you know " Cecilia said with a little friendly tone of voice to Adrian.

What Cecilia heard from Adrian was quite reassuring and made her feel kinda better, she liked to listen to that, as it kinda made her feel a lot better than before, as Adrian called her * Super-me...super-me really ?" Cecilia thought about what she was called, " Well, thanks Bullet ! it means a lot to hear that..I mean, I think you might be the only one who thinks that I can win right ?" Cecilia said with a little smile, she was honestly wanting to refrain from giving to much mention to the one that was sort of pestering the corner of her mind, she might want to get a match with her, and she might want to win, but she couldn't be sure she even could, when she lost to Sarah, it was probably her most humiliating defeat ever and she was unsure of if she could win.

Before she saw Adrian jump up and down and try to get things going, " Okay, Come on then, let's get this thing running!" Cecilia said as she would stretch out her arms and then begin to move into her wrestling stance.