In My Mind

Natasha shook her head, slightly cowering from Emily as the Scotswoman began to explode on her. She looked away, down at the floor, and felt a blush crossing her cheeks as she was berated by the other woman. She was starting to wonder if this was a mistake, and if she should have just left without saying anything.

When Emily finally calmed down, Natasha spoke up again, her voice quiet, almost trembling. "Emily. Be listening to me, please?" She began, an strange sincerity in her words, the Russian honestly believing what she was saying. "First, I am losing to you. No big deal. You are best wrestler I know, losing to you is not thing to be shamed about. I then lost to Czech woman. Radmilla. Gigantic redhead." She shuddered involuntarily, remembering that nightmare of a match. "Perhaps biggest woman I have ever been fighting. She beat me...no. She was humiliating me. I could not do a thing against her."

She slowly turned her head back towards Emily, gazing at her from the side. "So I take time off. I go back to home, back to Russia. I spend months, months, training. I...I am not wanting to lose again, da?" She turned to face Emily completely, and shook her head. "But then I am having to fight her. Valley Doll." She said her name with a slight hint of disgust, as if she still couldn't believe what had happened. "American girl, stereotypical in every way. Beautiful face, blond hair, huge breasts, overly tanned skin. I am thinking she is no threat, right? Just some typical American, da?"

She sighed, and lowered her gaze back to the floor. "She beat me. Barely, but she beat me. So I go and am pushing and am demanding for a rematch. I am getting it, and...she is beating me again. Badly. I am feeling almost as humiliated as I am when Radmilla crushed me..."

Her words trailed off, and the proud Russian went silent for several long, awkward moments, before speaking up again. "Emily. She is haunting my thoughts. I am seeing her when I close my eyes. I am thinking of her when I am trying to be sleeping. I...I cannot deal with it. I cannot deal with her."

She looked at Emily again, Natasha's voice almost pleading as she continued. "Do you not understand? Are you not seeing why I have to leave? I cannot be staying around here any more. I cannot stay..."

For a moment, Emily was silent. She had no immediate answer for her friend-- no magic words to make the hurting stop, no wise insight to put her troubles in perspective, no reassurance that would instantly and automatically make everything better. The fact that Natasha had suffered such a brutal string of defeats-- one that had so traumatized her-- was something that Emily sympathized with, but had no easy answer for. For a few seconds, Emily felt absolutely useless as a friend.

That feeling of self-pity didn't last long, though. With a stern look, Emily straightened up. "Right, enough of that," she said. "Stop all of this daft talk of leaving, stand up, an' get your coat on. We're hitting th' nearest tavern, you and I."

Natasha was silent for a few seconds longer, before lifting her head, looking up at Emily. Truthfully, there was a small part of her that knew she needed to get out, and knew she needed some fresh air, and she honestly didn't want to pass up an evening with Emily, but...

"I am looking like shit," she answered bluntly, referring to her lazy outfit, her unkempt hair, and the fact that she hadn't had a shower in a couple days. "I am not leaving to be going anywhere without a shower. Give me ten minutes, da?"

She sighed, and started to stand from the couch, shaking her head as she climbed back to her feet, taking a moment to stretch out her arms and legs. She couldn't remember how long she had been sitting there, but her body was stiff, and it actually felt good to shake the kinks in her body out.

Emily nodded, quietly glad that Natasha was agreeing to this. "Take all the time you need, love," she replied with a smile. "I'll wait here for ye."

As Natasha headed off to the bathroom, Emily opened up her cellphone and began typing a message to one of her contacts, an idea already beginning to form in her mind.

LADYNELSON: Risako, you busy?

THEQUEEN: Not rly. Why!

LADYNELSON: Natasha's feeling down, taking her to pub.

THEQUEEN: whats wrong?

LADYNELSON: Bad luck, string of losses.

LADYNELSON: You want to help me talk to her?

THEQUEEN: Sure

THEQUEEN: I'll meet you two at that place on Shuji Street, K? Half an hour.

LADYNELSON: K thx.

Shutting her phone, Emily sighed and took a deep breath, hoping that this would be enough to lift Natasha's spirits.

True to her words, almost exactly ten minutes later Natasha walked out of her bedroom. She looked slightly better, wearing a plain black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, with a light jacket pulled on over her shirt. Her hair still didn't look great, but it looked better than before, and overall she looked far cleaner than she did ten minutes earlier.

She stepped over to Emily and sighed a little bit, giving her a nod as she approached. "Alright. Let us be getting this over with."

Emily nodded, stood up, and gave Natasha a light hug. Wordlessly, she then opened the door, and the two of them headed out.

***

A few minutes later, Emily led Natasha into the Red Tabby, the same English-style pub where she had first encountered Odessa Brock. It didn't take long to find a table-- or another familiar face. Panther Risako was already sitting alone at one large table, wearing a black dress and brown fur overcoat. She seemed absent-minded and more than a little melancholy, idly playing with her long purple tresses as she stared at her drink. At the sight of Emily and Natasha, however, her expression brightened.

"Natasha-san!" the Japanese woman exclaimed, jumping from her seat and running over to give her fellow Wrestle Angel a big hug. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"

Natasha followed Emily into the pub, glancing around as they entered the building. Now that they were actually here, she was already wanting to go home, hardly believing that she had let Emily talk her into this.

She followed Emily to the table, only to be caught by surprised as Panther jumped to her feet and threw her arms around, drawing the Russian into her tight hug. Natasha looked shocked at first, and then awkward afterwards, glancing between the purple-haired Angel and Emily.

"P-Panther...?" She stammered softly, awkwardly returning the hug to her fellow wrestler. "W...what are you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here, Natasha-san?" Risako replied as she hugged Natasha. "I'm having a drink! Didn't you know that I'd moved into this league too?"

Drawing back from the hug, Risako continued to smile as she brushed her hair back. "I was in the neighbourhood, and Emily told me you were in need of a drink, so...here we all are!" She gestured to an empty table in the pub. "Come on, lets have a seat and order some drinks, Natasha-san. I have a feeling we all have a lot to talk about."

Natasha pulled out a chair, slipping into it and scooting back to the table, as she gave Emily a wary glance. She muttered under her breath to her, watching her with a bit of a sour look on her face. "This is not what I was expecting..." she muttered towards the Scotwoman. "Any more things you want to be surprising me with tonight?"

She sighed though, and put on a small smile, looking towards Risako, trying to make an attempt at being friendly, though truthfully she just wanted to go hide back in her apartment again. "It has been quite a long time, Panther. How have you been doing? I have not been seeing you around much for quite some time."