Costars

Belle had taken to playing with Tatiana's hair. At first she had just been running her fingers through it, though the more she started to play with it she had figured out she could actually fashion it to a degree thanks to the two women having worked up a sweat. All bets were off at that point. Devil horns had been the first addition made. Easy to form while she listened intently to the redhead's story. She was hungry for more information about who she was. She always felt at a disadvantage in that respect, Tatiana knew her childhood show as well as her current videos. While neither really delved into the deeper side of what made belle herself, it still something the girl could run a magnifying glass over if she had wanted to.

She wasn't sure what a younger acrobat would look like, outside of just being smaller... Maybe with pigtails. The idea of a tiny Tatiana working hard to make little paper wings was so adorable. As the story continued she quirked a brow at the sudden darker turn, feeling as though the devil horns were a good match. This was the second time she could recall the girl bringing up her mother, there always seemed to be this hint of sadness associated with whatever the topic was when it was mentioned. Coincidence? She wasn't really sure. "You as much of a trouble maker back then as you are now?" She gave the girl's cheek a grandmotherly pinch with a smirk. She refrained on following down the darker memory path, choosing instead to keep the redhead smiling.

Belle rolled her eyes, snorting softly. "Can't wish for strength cause you already have it... Says the girl who already can fly." It wasn't apples to apples, but she was still going to give the girl hard time for it. "Telekinesis. Being able to move stuff with your mind... including yourself, so that also has flight built into it. No accompanying story to go along with it. Just think it would be cool... And helpful." Belle unscrewed the cap from her bottle, lifting her head to make her careful drinking from it slightly less odd. "Being able to turn invisible would be pretty cool too."

Belle made it easy to smile, no matter what mood Tatiana found herself in, a fact that she was grateful for more than ever at the moment. Whenever she thought about her mother, the thoughts always started to flow in her mind, as if she held them all back in a dam and now someone had punched a hole in. First one, then two, then three, four, five - on and on, more and more, driving her crazy, as if there was nothing she could do to stop them.

Nothing but look up at Belle, feel her body underneath, giggle as her cheek was pinched, and listen to the calm, soothing tempo of her voice. Like a spell. Poof, she was all better. ”Worse.” She gave the simple, truthful answer. It would come to no one’s surprise that she was a rambunctious child, getting into anything and everything she could get her hands on, going wherever her whims took her.

She nodded along as Belle explained her choice, getting what she meant easily enough. Made sense. Practical, economic, smart. Especially that last part. ”It would be nice to turn invisible, sometime. When the world is getting a little too much, when you’re tired of everything. To just take a time-out from it all.” She hummed, a quick note of noise. ”I think I could still find you, though. You have a very distinct smell.”

Half in jest, half serious. She swore, Belle always smelled good, even now. Perhaps not an odd thing with a woman who made perfume in her spare time.

At some point, she wasn’t sure when, Tatiana’s hand had found Belle’s and wrapped around it, lacing their fingers together in a loving embrace. It was as if her body was readying itself to ask the question that had been at the back of her mind for the past few hours. Might as well get it out. ”Belle, can I ask you something? About us?”

"Tatiana the Terrible." The Russian accent she attempted may have been insulting in the wrong company. While an actress all her life, she never really had to do accents save for pretending to be a British foreign  exchange student in one episode  of Coming Together. She seemed keenly  aware of this and dropped it almost immediately. "Talk about missed gimmick opportunities. And here I thought you were the heroine here, meanwhile you were the villain all alone. What a twist."

"Yeah..." The redhead hit the nail on the head why she had considered it. More than considered really. Growing up that had always been a dream of hers. Despite the plethora of labor laws that governed how much she could work in one day as a child, that didn't extend to everything else off set. Appearances at events, interviews, acting lessons, even home schooling. She had fantasied about being anywhere else a lot on tough days...

Invisibility to run away from all the responsibility and a pocket dimensions to keep all her things to hide away from the world. Just any way to give herself privacy away form it all. If only younger Belle could see how things were now. All the space in the world for her things, and just empty halls to share it with. Hardly something worth wishing for anymore.

She arched a brow at Tatiana's claim finding it off at first until the girl explained. It made sense. She would dabble with fragrance chemistry for her brand a few times in the business quarter to put out something new. While she prided herself in her market products, a little known secret known by only her was she kept the scents she like most to herself. "If I ever go missing, I expect you to find me. Don't let me down."

Perfumes, shampoo, body washes, scented candles, she had a stockpile of items nobody in the world had outside of her. As a result, she did actually have a scent rather unique to her... And sometimes Kaylee if she stole a bottle of something she liked from Belle's stock. Tatiana had with the simple comment given her a rather good idea, one she tucked away for later. She needed some lab time before coming up with anything solid.

Her hands had long since stopped playing with the girls hair and had idly bee. Stroking it. Easily found, her fingers slipped between Tatiana's in a willing acceptance in their company. At the question, a flag went up in her mind almost immediately. Had she done something wrong?  Was that accent actually offensive? Was Tatiana breaking up with her? Could you even break up if you never officially started dating? "Yeah... Sure. What's up, Slinky?"

Tatiana had a nice, deep chuckle at Belle’s attempt at Russian accent. It actually was one of the better impressions she’d heard, especially coming from American lips. So many people overdid it, came off sounding like something off one of the lesser Bond movies or that character from that old cartoon with the moose and squirrel. The name’s escaped her at the moment.

Belle, by contrast, didn’t lay it on to thick. It was hard to tell from just three words, but she could’ve imagined her as a native speaker. She’d be good at it. Belle was good at everything.

She gave her hand a tender squeeze, just take a moment to feel the power in it. A power that could’ve crushed her hand, had her screaming in pain at a moment’s notice, but could also be so tender and gentle. Tatiana didn’t have to worry about anything like that. There was a trust here, and Belle would never betray it.

It might’ve been a small thing, but that hand reminded her of it, and that made saying what came next a little easier.

”I…” She chewed her lip for a moment, hunkered down, and plowed forward, mistakes be damned. ”I know I’m a little slower than you might be used to. I mean, we cuddle and we spoon and we wrestle and we make out and I love it. I really love it, don’t get me wrong.” She turned her head and gave Belle a kiss on her navel, as if such statements needed tangible proof.
”But, well, I’ve seen some of your matches. Some of the, you know…hentai.” She whispered it for a reason that she couldn't fathom. ”And I’m not judging or anything, it’s fine if that’s what you want to do, but-"

While Tatiana drew strength from they held hands, the light squeeze only ushered in dread within her mind. This all seemed like softening a blow. Her father use to pat her on the shoulder and give it a firm grip. That's how she knew they weren't doing what she wanted that day. Her mom would pull out the pet names... It was like writing on the wall. She closed her eyes and waited for what was to come, already thinking up ways to dispute whatever reasoning the girl might have why this shouldn't be a thing. She had grown to love this, all of this, and she wasn't wanting to give it up. It had been far to long since she had something that really made her happy for more than a passing amount of time.

"Some of my matches..." Her eyes opened partly as she repeated Tatiana slowly, unable to make out the end of the sentence but seeming to understand the meaning behind what she was saying. Her jaw clenched slightly as she grit her teeth behind her lips. Those stupid hentai matches? Were they about to ruin everything for her? She didn't even want to do those damn things, Kaylee talked her into it. Not that she hadn't had casual sex fairly regularly, but she wasn't about to go blabbing about that. It wasn't like the matches though, aired for anyone to see... for Tatiana to see.

The allure of invisibly seemed increasing enticing again, wanting to be anywhere but here having this conversation. Why did she just go along with all of that? Why hadn't she protested or put her foot down? Her mind was racing, melting down as it tore itself apart over where she thought this conversation was going. She hadn't had a genuine human connection with anyone like she had with Tatiana. She didn't even feel like she could be herself around Kaylee... Not that she often showed her real self either way beneath the stone faced stoicism.

She slapped a hand to her forehead, roughly dragging her fingers through her hair. "I don't..." She couldn't help but interrupt, Tatiana's prancing around what she was getting at and the tone of how she was talking about this was making her think it was something it wasn't, especially the bit about "if that's what you want to do" which had been exactly where she spoke up. "I don't care about any of those stupid..." She drew in a deep breath as she suddenly sat herself up slightly. "I'll stop doing those matches, okay? I can just... we can just... forget about them." It was hard covering up your mistakes when they were viewed by millions. "It was dumb, and it was before I met you and ...I really can't fuck this up."

Tatiana wanted to think this conversation was like ripping off a band-aid: not pleasant, but you know you had to do it sooner or later, and the long you waited, the harder it would be to get off. But that wasn’t quite true, was it? With a band-aid, you know what you’d be getting underneath, and she had absolutely no idea how any of this would go.

Nor would she have a chance to find out right away.

She’d been talking and failing at talking, trying to find the right way to spit out what she needed to say here. It wasn’t the easiest task, and Belle would up cutting her off before she could finish. What followed was one of the more confusing moments of this relationship, no small thing when one considered how their first ‘date’ had gone.

She laid there, blinking, staring, unmoving, as she tried to process what Belle was trying to say and the pieces clicked. Tatiana put it all together the moment she was finished speaking, and she was quick to sit up and give her hand a reassuring squeeze, along with a gentle hand to her chest.

”No, no! That’s not what I’m saying.” She shook her head hard, letting the sweaty tendrils of her hair whip about. ”I’m not going to judge you for something you did before we were even a thing, and, I mean…” She chewed her lip, starting to get nervous again, before she decided to just barrel through it. ”If that’s the sort of thing you want to do, it’s...okay, I guess. It doesn’t have to affect us.” She sighed. ”I know I’m a little slower than that, and I’m not ready for that sort of thing, and I’m not sure when I’ll be. So if you want to keep doing matches like that, and if it comes with the package, I...understand. I guess. I can look past it. For you.”

She couldn’t force herself to sound enthusiastic about the idea of some other woman touching Belle or kissing her or doing all sorts of crazy things, but the AFW was a unique beast. She knew. They knew.

Belle rarely broke down, on the rare occasion it happened, it was normally in private. She would put on some sappy feel bad music, punch one of her poor pillows, and generally just feel like a piece of living garbage for the day. It never came across to other people, she never showed them. She even got around the bad days by recording on advanced for her channel uploads. She thought she was about to lose the redhead for a moment.

She stared back at Tatiana as the girl tried to assure her that wasn't the case. The seed had been planted though, one that gnawed at her, breathed life by her own doubts. "I don't want that." She almost growled at the slightly dismissive way the acrobat was wording it, as if it wasn't a big deal. It was important to her that she understand. "I don't care about any of that bullshit... And you shouldn't try to compare yourself to that. It's not normal." She snorted softly, rather disgusted with herself at the moment.

"I don't... Really care how slow things are. I just like spending time with you." She gave Tatiana's hand a squeeze, as much for her as it was for the redhead. She straightened up, folding her legs to sit cross-legged. "I won't do them anymore... The hentai matches. I promise." She hung her head, biting her lip. "I don't want you to feel pressured by that stuff... God I wish you hadn't seen those..." She placed a hand over her face, shaking her head.

Belle lifted her head slightly, peering out at Tatiana. She was having a hard time meeting her eyes. "Just... I won't push anything, I don't mean to anyway. If you ever, and I mean ever, feel uncomfortable with something just tell me. I swear I will listen. I like you. I like us. I want this to be... Something. I just need to know you understand that."

Tatiana couldn’t help but feel like her complete and utter inexperience with serious relationships was starting to hamper her, here. This was the first time she’d had anything even close to this, the only time she’d had something going with anyone where a topic like this could pop up. She was a stammering, confused mess, trying to navigate the perilous waters, but sinking all the same.

So, in a small way, she was kind of glad that Belle - the more mature and worldlier woman between them - was having trouble, too. It reminded her that, despite the pedestal she loved to put her on, the target of her affections was still very much human.

She straightened along with Tatiana and sat cross-legged to match her, so they could be at eye-level. Eventually. Belle kept hers down. All the same, she let the brunette finish what she had to say, get it all there in the open, before she made reply.

The first order of business was fixing Belle’s head. Tatiana didn’t like the idea of her feeling like she couldn’t look her in the eye - no matter what happened between them, that should never be a problem. She placed two fingers under Belle’s chin and lifted her head up, bringing their gazes to each other, so her best friend could see her smile, see the calmness in her eyes.

”Hey, stop that.” Tatiana shook her head. ”You never have to be ashamed of anything with me. Never.” She brought her fingers away and brought her hand to the top of Belle’s hand, gracing it with a loving caress. ”I understand. I do. And I’m sorry I had any doubt that you’d feel the way you do. You’re the kindest, most caring person I know. You’re strong, but you’re sweet, too, and I trust you. I feel like I could trust you with things I don’t even trust my sister with.” She nodded, as saying that out loud hammered the point home, even to herself.

”And I’m sorry I looked that stuff up. I just really wanted to see you wrestle. You’re really good, you know?” She decided to leave out mentioning how absolutely hot those matches were, and all the reactions she’d had to watching them. Likely to spoil the mood. Instead, she leaned forward and placed their foreheads together, looking into Belle’s twin sapphires. ”We’re good?”

The spiral of self hate came to a slow stop as if taking the redhead's opening words as a command. She had been letting herself get wrapped up in her own twisted thoughts and fears, so much so that she was constructing the perfect scenario designed to pick herself apart. Those simple words had been surprisingly effective in bringing her back from the edge of that dark pit. Belle found her focused back on the woman of her affections as two gentle fingers lifted her head so the two could meet eye to eye once more.

The compliments had been appreciated, but didn't do much on their own to alleviate how she was feeling, until the end. How she looked, how she acted, how strong she could be, were just attributes of herself. She could easily have been too kind or sweet for ulterior motives, not that it was the case here. Having trust though... That was outside of her power. That was something only Tatiana could give her, and that alone meant more to her than she could put in words. It wasn't the first time the redhead had let her know she trusted Belle, she said it often actually. In this moment, set beside her sister however, it really put it into perspective and gave it some tangent meaning.

"It's okay... I should have assumed." Tatiana was a curious girl after all. It was a pretty safe bet she watched just about any of her content, especially after they started seeing each other like this. "Don't be sorry. It's not like I asked you not to or anything." The last thing she wanted was for Tatiana to feel like she had done something wrong. While it was true she was upset she watched the matches, she couldn't reasonably fault the girl for just being herself.

Belle pressed her forehead lightly to Tatiana's, sighing softly at the question. She had expected a lot out of today, but this heavy note hadn't been in the cards. It had, in a manner of minutes, been more taxing than their long and grueling wrestling spar. "Yeah... Sorry for... I don't know. Overreacting?"

Tatiana could feel her pulse slowing, her heart resuming its normal operations, her blood dropping its pace. For a moment, there, they’d been in what felt like the danger zone. She wasn’t crazy enough to think that this relationship wouldn’t have any more speed bumps, that it would be smooth sailing from her on in, but this was a good litmus test for how things could go in the future.

Belle talked, Tatiana listened. Tatiana talked, Belle listened. They put each other at ease, and reminded each other why they came together in the first place. The two of them just sort of...fit.

”I can be a little nosey.” Tatiana said, in one of the biggest understatements of her life. ”And you didn’t overreact, I think. Just speaking from your heart.” She shook her head, making Belle’s shake along with her as she pressed. “This conversation was going to happen sooner or later, and I think sooner worked best.

Tatiana moved around, turned her back to Belle, but only so she could press up against her. She reached around, took those strong arms of hers, and brought them around her chest, prompting the brunette to hold her. She doubted she would need much encouragement on the matter. ”Let’s just lay back and enjoy each other for a while, okay? Hold me close. Feel each other.” She looked back at Belle, eying through the wild red strands with a soft smile, tinted by her red cheeks. ”Until the food gets here, at least.”