[FWC]~Big Momma Pump Vol.4~ [T.V Special]

Hikaru Furtani found himself with the odd presence of free time, his eyes lazily scrolling the pages of Reddit as boredom itself began to set in. With the paper work for the day done, what little client bureaucratic documents there were to file filed, Hikaru found himself preparing to head home, albeit not without a quick browsing of his inbox to see anything worthy of note.

Worthy of note certainly applied well to what he came across.

Opening one email from an individual within AFW who served the purpose of insider to the young manager, Hikaru's eyes briefly widened. Given the this individual had a knack for aquiring information and such before it even began to circumnavigate AFW itself let alone the world of wrestling, Hikaru opened the e-mail with eager intent.

'You may want to check this':

Curiosity overtook the young man, as Hikaru quickly set to downloading the attached MP.4 file. Leaning back in his chair, with a quick click of the play button, the clip began to roll.


The instant the clip began to play, sirens started to blare down the speakers, with the camera closing in and out repeatedly on what appeared to be budget versions of red and blue flickering lights.

"CALLING ALL FRICTION PIECES OF CRAP. ALLLLL FRICTION PIECES OF CRAP"

With action music resembling something from a cheap 80's film blasting in the background, the camera soon cut to one particular muscle bound brute, clad in a black leather outfit and mask. In her hands, laid a dollar-store-esque trophy, that appeared even smaller in the woman's mighty mitts. On it, scrabbled in what appeared to be felt pen, were the letters 'FWC'.

"'VENING YOU WEAK PIECES OF TURDS. LAURA LEINER HERE TO REMIND YOU FLESHLINGS TO SIGN YOUR MATCHES UP FOR THE ONGOING FRICTION WORLD CUP. THE PROCESS IS SIMPLE, EVEN IF YOU'RE A VILLAGE IDIOT WITHOUT A VILLAGE."

Laura briefly halted her tirade, before turning as the camera followed her. Without skipping a beat, she'd deliver a flawless hook to what appeared to be a straw doll, quickly toppling it over. Stapled to it, lied a picture of Mariko Ishii. The camera quickly turned back.

"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, WHETHER IT BE A POINTLESS EFFORT TO PROVE YOURSELF IN THE RING, OR YOU RUNNING YOUR MOUTH, OR EVEN YOU TRYING TO LOSE SOME OF THAT FAT THAT'S RAMPANT IN THESE PARTS, IS RECORD WHATEVER-THE-HELL YOU'VE BEEN WASTING YOUR TIME WITH AND POST IT RIGHT HERE."

Again Laura briefly halted her tirade, to raise her finger. The onscreen graphic magically appeared to perfectly line up a link with the brute's hand.




"SIMPLE RIGHT? EVEN FOR DUMB GOBLIN'S WHO CAN'T MUSTER THE BALLS TO FIGHT IN TENSION. ALL YA HAVE TO DO, IS BE A PART OF FRICTION. HELL, I'LL EVEN MAKE IT SIMPLER FOR YOU~"

The camera would quickly fade the black, before fading to a new setting. Now, a individual in a suit and tie was sat against a desk, a small folded sign reading 'Friction World Cup Sign-ups' upon the table before him. With the camera turning, in would walk Laura, in her normal attire, albeit with a sign to her back again lazily glued on. On this sign, read 'Typical Friction Idiot.'

"Derrr, I'd like to sign up my pointless matches pleeeeaseee" Apparently equipping a tone resembling someone perhaps missing a few screws, Laura would scribble upon the sign-up sheet, with a huge over-exaggerated green tick appearing upon the screen.

"BUT REMEMBER WEAKLINGS, IT'S FRICTION ONLY."

The scene then reset, starting the same. Only this time, Laura appeared on screen, with a short blonde wig clad upon the top of her mask, and a long trench coat clad to her back. On this, read the words 'Homeless Elite Tools.'

"Derrr, my names Ryan. Or John or some shit. Can I play?" Once she had finished speaking, another over-exaggerated graphic would appear on screen. This time, a big red cross, with the appropriate error sound ringing out.

"IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE. JUST REMEMBER TO SIGN-UP WHEN YOUR DONE, AND INCLUDE THE RIGHT LETTERS WHEN APPLYING FOR YOUR POINTLESS SHIT. THAT'S ALL FROM ME MEATBAGS. I'VE BEEN LAURA LEINER, YOU'VE ALL BEEN WORTHLESS IN COMPARISON. LATER."


Jaw agape, eyes awide, and posture tensed up, Hikaru simply couldn't believe what the hell he had just seen. Considering such the signal point for the end of his day, he'd simply flick the standby button to his laptop, before flipping the cover shut.

"The internet was a mistake."