Re: Improvement/Critique Thread

[Bluemouse]

I like color tags because it's easier on the eyes, and friendly text is nicer to read.

And I really don't agree with any of Kitten's points. Why would you put the dialog at the end, and not where it belongs in the context of the rest of the action? Also, if it's always at the end, it's always far away from the dialog the character was responding to.

And if foreshadowing doesn't work for you, practice makes perfect. " title="Razz" />


My big suggestion if you want to at least develop an identifiable flavor for your characters, if not actual depth, is to not try to write nine at one time. Supporting roles are one thing and can be done with just a little color, but larger roles require some depth, and that comes from attention and energy and all that junk that for me gets spread thin pretty quickly with multiple characters.

[acuya]

My big suggestion if you want to at least develop an identifiable flavor for your characters, if not actual depth, is to not try to write nine at one time. Supporting roles are one thing and can be done with just a little color, but larger roles require some depth, and that comes from attention and energy and all that junk that for me gets spread thin pretty quickly with multiple characters.

That's a fair point, I think.

Initially, I made characters to fill certain roles and match-types - like a character for hardcore matches, a guy for more serious matches, a guy for less serious matches, and I didn't plan on using them immediately...but I get antsy, sometimes. >_>

A lot of things didn't go quite as planned - like, for, instance, I didn't anticipate doing as much with Ninjette as I wound up doing, but some people asked to do matches with her, and they're leading to more social things, so now I'm considering giving her more of the focus I'd initially planned for others. And I like that, really - I like a certain level of spontaneity in RPing, I think it's a big part of the fun.

But I do need to get a better handle on what I want to do with whom and how I want to do and what focus I should be giving everyone - I agree with you, there.

Thanks!

i

[jakeb1993]

Ok then, i am going to throw my hat in and look for some constructive advice. Not hate or burns of any kind.

[Bluemouse]

I think anyone posting here would be more likely to get responses by being more specific, like "how's my grammar" or "does this character sound believable?"

[jakeb1993]

I know it would, but i am looking for critique on anything, from my characters to my writing.

[jakeb1993]

I am looking for feedback about my posts. Are they okay? Are they getting longer? Do they need to be longer to be better etc

[Bluemouse]

Length =/= quality! " title="Mad" />

It's not the length, it's how you use it.

[Alexandra]

That's what she said. :V

...I'll just see myself out now.

[jakeb1993]

Also as a character, what does everyone think about Toshiko?

[Lunchador]

Hey, folks, just thought I'd throw my hat into the ring for some criticism, here. Jumped at this earlier, but (as was rightly pointed out to me) it was much too early to get a good sense of my RP. Been a bit more active, lately (and will likely be more active for awhile, now, unless anything changes), so now that I've had a chance to get more RP in with more folks, I kind of wanted to ask how I was doing.

In particular, I'd like to know if there are any tics or turns of phrase I'm relying on too much, if my characters are individually interesting (or, conversely, are any of them flat-out boring or annoying?), and how I'm doing with my "selling" of other character's moves (too much? too little?). Any pointers or advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

Edit to Add: Also, I'd kind of like to know if posting more often has lead to a decline in my post quality. Kind of been worrying about that.

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