Sappy

Even though she couldn't see it yet, Jocelyn was just feeling more beautiful than she had before she walked in thanks to Allison's work. She knew it looked marvelous. She had thought that things were going pretty well all things considered and she wasn't expecting what came next.

She let out a quick yelp as she was smacked and growled, lifting her head up, caught Allison's eye and suddenly shrunk as she spoke. She panted softly as Allison began to berate her and when she was commanded, she stood up and clenched her fists.

"Y-Y-" She was about to speak and turned her head. "Fuck..." She muttered. "You're so fucking infuriating. You don't know how much I hate you." She said quietly, almost meekly. She then turned her head and looked back at Allison. "I can't stand the way you jerk me around! Some fucking cunt you are!" She huffed out those last two lines softly before her shoulders slumped forward. She seemed to run out of gas pretty quickly and her head fell.

"If it was anyone else... I swear..." She sighed heavily. and looked up at Allison curiously. "You... what are you doing to me?" She asked as though Allison had cast a spell on her or something. It sure felt like it.

Allison held up a finger to stop Jocelyn's ranting. She guided Jocelyn to her chair and sat her down in front of the mirror.

"Look." She said. "You walked in looking like a poor, scared, desperate little girl who would do anything to be noticed. This, though, is the face of a woman who knows her place. This is a face that does not want, but is wanted. Do you understand? Everything begins with appearances, but those appearances must give way to confidence and style and power. We are artists, women like you and I, and every hair is placed, every word is chosen so as to show it." She let her robe fall open just a little to show her silky skin and the bits of her ring attire she still wore.

"The only approval you require is your own. The only person you must ever approve of is yourself. You will not speak to me like an angry, confused, frightened child. You will speak to me as you wish." She put her hand on Jocelyn's neck and slid her fingers up her jaw line, over her ear, into her hair, and then walked to the mirror, trailing her fingers behind her. She lifted her wine glass and took a sip, sat on the edge of the table and regarded Jocelyn impassively.

Jocelyn was hushed by Allison's finger and guided back into the chair. Her eyes widened and she quietly listened to what the older woman was telling her. She knew all that but honestly she hated herself more than she hated anyone else. Allison's touch caused her to shiver and she craned her neck to get the most out of it.

She sank back into the chair, looking hard at Allison's exposed body and then sinking back into the chair and sighing. "I understand all that." She said and looked up. "I ... " She paused and then looked down blushing. "I want you." She then stated and nodded. "That's all there is too it. I do want what you have. I'm not very confident..." She turned her head. "I have a lot of issues, I guess..." She then stood up and furrowed her brow and looked at Allison. "But if I was that much like how you said, I wouldn't have even here right now!" She pushed herself close to Allison so they were a few inches a part.

"Why are you turning this into a confrontation? Why do you have to bat away my feelings like they were nothing?!" She demanded. "If you don't give a shit, then just tell me so I can stop wasting my time, alright?" Jocelyn seemingly had not listened to what Allison had said turned her head.

"Tch. I can't just act like I don't give a fuck about anything. I'm not like that. I'm not like you in that way." She muttered.

"Do you really think that I could be bothered to have this conversation if I didn't care? I care deeply enough to want to help you realize your potential." Allison said smoothly, undaunted by Jocelyn's prickly demeanor.

She locked her intense green eyes on Jocelyn's as she spoke, sparing even the usual little glances away one uses to soften their gaze. "You're Australian, clearly. To look at you, your parents are Chinese, if your features and this... lovely... dress are any indication. You're a spirited, but rather poor, fighter. Do you know what we have in common?" Allison almost appeared to be smiling, but she wasn't, at least not with her mouth. "We're not like other people, and we take what we want."

Allison stood up from the table and poured another glass of wine. She held the stem of the glass between her thumb and forefinger and swirled it gently to coat the edges of the glass with the deep burgundy liquid, and then passed it to Jocelyn before taking a step back.

"P'rhaps you've thought this before, but you've not realized it. Not yet. You've got so much interference in that vulgar mind of yours, it's not surprising at all. But you're here, aren't you... Isn't that interesting. You certainly must have known the risks, the potential for disappointment, and yet here you are. And why not? Why should anything stop you from getting what you want?"

Now Allison was smiling, and the look was unsettling, haughty, and full of intent. "And yet in spite of all this, you've no confidence. None. You're too petrified of losing to allow your mouth to stay closed long enough for someone to respond properly, under normal circumstances. Confidence is a product of identity and success, darling. Once one has realized her identity, the next step is to find success, and wring the nectar from this place and its people, and to hell with anyone else. Am I wrong? Darling, do you know who, or what, you are?"

Jocelyn's eyes widened at Allison's next words. She was surprised to hear such an admission from such a cold bitch like Allison, even if the look on her face didn't exactly give Jocelyn confidence that she meant it. But as Allison continued, Jocelyn felt herself engaged and locked onto Allison's green eyes.

Jocelyn lowered her head and put on a scowl. Not for Allison but for herself. "My Father's Chinese. My mother's Australian." She said it as though it was very important to distinguish the two. Really most of her life came down to her heritage. Her mother was such a free spirit and loving and a good woman. Her father, while not a bad guy per se, was strict, heavy handed and impossible to please. He was sure that he had never smiled in his life and how he and her mother could be married was something she could not understand.

But the she struggled with the fact that she was only half Chinese. She was called a mongrel and a freak by most of the kids at her school and any of the Australian kids wouldn't have anything to do with her either. What was it about Allison that made her 'different?' For all she knew, Allison was some English dyke that was living the good life and just had enough sadism and skill to whittle away her her purple eased hours tormenting fresh faced pups like Jocelyn.

Jocelyn took the glass when she was handed it. She pulled the cup to her nose and have it a few quick sniffs before gulping a bit of it down. She certainly was no connoisseur but she wasn't going to pass up some alcohol if offered. She let the glass fall to her stomach and gave Allison a quick nod. "Not bad." She said. She didn't know how else to describe it really. Jocelyn had drank a lot in her day but mostly at parties and mostly out of spite and not love for alcohol. It was also mostly beer so she didn't really have a palette for anything else. The dryness of the alcohol was shocking to her tongue yet the aftertaste of the bittersweet grapes left her fulfilled enough to not be put off by the drink.

She got back tothe task at hand after taking another sip. "Interference? What do you mean by that?" She paused. "Um... interesting?" She said. "You're interesting. That's why I'm here." She said bluntly.

But she listened carefully. "What... What are you on about? I haven't even WON anything?" Her voice seemed irritated. "I think I have the taste of losing down pretty well... and I don't fucking like it. I went and watched your first match, you know." Many times and probably enjoyed watching it a little more than she would have liked to have admitted.

"You're so cool. It pisses me off. I wish I could make you look and feel the way that I do and I wish that I could sit and coolly watch and enjoy you looking that way like you do." Despite her words, she actually spoke calmly. She was feeling a little relaxed. "Even getting beat and humiliated by that little shrimp and the next time you showed up acting like you won. How do you do that?" She added the beaten and humiliated to jab at Allison and see if she could get any kind of ride out of the Brit even though she doubted it. But her last words were spoken with real curiosity. How DID she do it? It was like the secret of life that Allison knew and Jocelyn wanted.

A flicker of rage passed over Allison's face like a dark cloud, almost imperceptible and very brief. She mentally took a step back to ensure that she kept her composure, and when she spoke she showed no sign of anger at all.

"Certainly, no one wins them all, darling. You know how perfectly easy it is to end up on the wrong end of a match with just a few poor chances, it's a roll of the dice. Don't think I'm making excuses, though, careful. I do mean to win every match, and I don't like to lose. But I will say... the only rational thing for a woman such as myself to be is confident."

"As for your question, if you're quite done trying to ruffle my feathers, p'raps you could answer mine first. I know perfectly well the answer, but I don't think you do, and I'd like to hear it from your lips."

Jocelyn searched and searched for it but it was so minuscule that she didn't even bother gloating over it. It was very disappointing and she let out a soft sigh as she listened to Allison speak. She made sense, more or less. Jocelyn certainly never ENJOYED losing, though losing to Jocelyn was probably the best loss she could take or maybe second only to her EX-Girlfriend, Yi. She emphasized the Ex part. She clenched her fists and turned her head.

"Who am I? She asked. She then growled a bit. "Or WHAT am I?" She sighed and ran her fingers through her spiky hair. "I don't know..." She said honestly and looked up at Allison. "I've spent most of my life living for other people, mostly..." She pause and shook her head.

"I... I don't now... I didn't really care as long as it was something that someone else didn't want me to be, at least... that's what I thought... Now, who knows. Even with all these fuckin losses, I still kinda like it here. It's nice to be away from my family even if I haven't seen my baby sis yet."

"Ah, you see, there's the problem. Other people, whether trying to please or to spite them, will never fulfill you and never satisfy you or make you happy. The only person who is truly important to you is yourself. You're certainly not lovable, nor adorable. No one will ever love you until you learn security of identity such that allows you to make them love you. You do want to be loved, no?" Allison said easily, with a quiet intensity that originated in her eyes, still fixed on Jocelyn.

"If you're not willing to stand up for yourself, then you will be trampled underfoot by the mindless, shambling masses. Clearly you're not deluded enough to devote the sweat of your brow to the well being of other people. But this spitefulness of yours betrays just the same weakness... Darling, to hell with your father..." She guessed, given Jocelyn's tone before, that her father was the one responsible for her state. "He has failed to make you happy, to make you feel secure, and as his daughter that couldn't possibly be any fault of yours. Isn't that his job? His inability to adequately perform his fatherly duties requires no more of you than your doorman or grocery store clerk. You need pay him no more attention than you would the girls you passed in the hall moments ago.

"And as for your mother, how could she be of any use to you while allowing her life to be dominated by such an incomplete man as your father? Surely her judgement is questionable, and you had better thing carefully before deciding how much of your life you want to give up to her."

She stood immediately in front of Jocelyn, and held out a hand to help her up from the chair with a warm, if detached, smile. "Let me remind you, anything I say to you only holds any weight if it is of benefit to you. There's no truth to my words beyond that. There is no truth, madam, there is only self, and if we are to have any relationship, you must use me for yourself just as I would use you for mine. However you choose to benefit yourself from my company is your decision... You are a goddess, Lu Jiao Jocelyn. With just a small change to your appearance, look, I have revealed a beautiful, strong, truly remarkable woman in you waiting to be loosed upon the world. You need only to set her free."

A sly, subtle, dangerous look came over Allison. Her body language changed. "Would you like to know a secret? The one thing that could perhaps help you to grow, to learn to freely take, give you confidence, and serve as a catalyst to your transformation?" She paused for a moment and a wide, unsettling grin spread across her face. "Violence."

Jocelyn clenched her fists at Allison's words. More insults. She hated it. But even though she wanted to attack her again, she listened carefully. She was right on her initial statement.s Jocelyn needed to live for herself but she had been living for so long to prove to others that she was worth something that she honestly had no clue what SHE wanted. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be loved. She turned her head and narrowed her eyes.

"Who cares about that?' She said. "I don't really care about being loved..." She hesitated a little bit. Maybe she cared about it somewhat but she pushed past it. "I want to be respected. When people respect me, then they'll adore me and then I can decide who is worth having my love." She furrowed her brow and brought her fist up. Suddenly she was feeling good and her eyes widened.

Jocelyn began to talk about her family. She was more or less dead on about her father. Jocelyn's lip curled into a sneer as she spoke. She hated that man. But she was surprised at Allison's words towards her mother. She honestly loved her mother and if not for her, Jocelyn might be worse off than she was. But she disregarded it. The Brit's point wasn't invalid and she never did understand the relationship between her mother and father and how they stayed together.

Jocelyn looked up at the smile and took her hand and listened carefully. She said such wonderful things, she called her a goddess. Her mouth hung open and she took int he words. She just needed to be confident and she looked past Allison and into the mirror. She was gorgeous. Jocelyn knew she was pretty darn hot but with her ow self esteem, she rarely saw how sexy she truly was. Allison certainly brought that out. She looked int he mirror and glanced back at the Brit. Damn. She smiled suddenly. If the two of them went out, in this moment, Jocelyn was sure she could out do the woman for an evening.

She snapped out of her trance when Allison leaned in. "Y-Yes, of course!" She said almost too eagerly. When she heard the word, her eyes widened. She narrowed her eyes and looked at Allison quizzically. "W-what?" She muttered. "T-hat's it!?" She almost seemed like she might laugh in Allison's face.

"You tart! Weren't you in that match? I'm plenty fuckin violent. It hasn't done shit for me!" Jocelyn clenched her teeth and then smiled at Allison. "Yeah... I get ya though. I feel the same way. If you want something, just take it. I've just had a run of bad luck. That's it." She told herself.

Allison clicked her tongue and folded her arms. "And again you don't understand." She sighed and turned her head. "Well, Lu Jiao, if you trust that I have something to offer you, perhaps you would allow me to help you understand. You've never been on the right side of such an ordeal... I can understand how you would be so ignorant."

She strolled over to a small wardrobe that flanked her dressing table and opened the door. She slid hangers back and forth until she found something to wear, and then slid her robe off and tossed it at Jocelyn. "Likely it's a feeling that you've never had, which is unsurprising. But now you will learn by doing."

She easily peeled off her black bikini and was left, briefly, naked. She stood in front of Jocelyn, totally unfazed by the idea of her magnificent, sculpted body being on display. She pulled on a lacy black thong and a racy black bra, and slipped a short black dress over her head. The hem fell well above her knees, the neckline only hinted at her breasts, and it had a very feminine drape that showed her figure without being tight. She selected a pair of buckled, black, midcalf-high suede boots and the appropriate socks and sat down on a plush couch against the wall to pull them on.

"Well, darling, are you ready? It's time the lioness taught her cub to hunt."