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Looking for a feedback partner.

Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:13 am by WrestleMind

Howdy! I'm looking for someone to receive feedback from and give feedback to. In part, this is for improving my writing but more so just to enjoy discussing it with someone like minded.  Very Happy

What I mean when I say "feedback".

  • This section was a bit redundant.
  • The way you described that move was exhilarating!
  • This part of the match was a real curve ball!
  • That character's actions were vile!
  • I would've enjoyed more detail here.



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Shadow-y Avalanche?

Tue Oct 16, 2018 5:39 pm by Vcom7418

A-hoi!

Looking for a match for Avalanche for GASTER!

If interested, please contact me via PM or via Discord (address in my sig! Razz)

We can discuss the storyline, and it can be long term and even go past Avalanche! Whatever you prefer, I'll prolly be up for it Smile

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Looking for a match ot her return

Thu Nov 08, 2018 9:57 pm by Edward_Lightner

Hello!

My little Becky is back and is searching for a new match or training!
In hentai or everithing else!

http://www.afwrpg.com/t8323-becky-welsh#209273

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About Star Wars 8..;

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by hamish1024 on Sun Dec 24, 2017 3:00 pm

This here new one had the best moments and set pieces of any of the films.

That last lightsabre duel on the salt flats? Gorgeous.

The twist in Snoke's throne room? Jaw-dropping.

However, they *are* scattered a bit thinly throughout the two-and-a-half hour runtime. Some of the plotting that pads that out is a little undisciplined (looking at you, "Master Codebreaker"). Still good though.

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by M.J.Caboose14 on Sun Dec 24, 2017 3:01 pm

OMG IT'S A HAMISH! HI BUDDDDYYYY!

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by Cirno on Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:00 am

Three words:


LUKE. SHOULDER BRUSH.

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by M.J.Caboose14 on Fri Dec 29, 2017 1:56 pm

Cirno wins. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that it was the best part.

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by Lobo on Fri Dec 29, 2017 3:58 pm

Spoiler:
It sucked!

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by Sylvie on Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:13 am

Harrier and Cy (and potentially Person), would you be willing to list things you liked about episode VIII if I gave a list of things I hated?

I'm late <3

but uh...

Spoiler:

--There's no texture to the politics or society. Everyone who isn't Resistance or New Order is one of two things: A child slave or a DICK. Put a pin in this point for later.

--I despise Admiral Holdo. She sparks a mutiny by pointlessly withholding information. She's a bitch.

--SO MUCH EXPOSITION. Luke has to explain his dark backstory through voiceover. Snoke has to explain his malevolent trick through evil monologue. Leia has to explain the stakes by saying "None of our allies are coming; there is no hope!" Etc etc etc.

--The "WE MUST SPARK HOPE IN THE GALAXY AGAIN" rings hollow because I don't care about the galaxy. There are exactly 0 sympathetic characters outside the resistance apart from the slaves, who are so morally hamfisted we can probably describe their scenes as breaking kosher.

This last point's a big one. Not only does it detract from the sense of mood and place in the setting (something critical to a good Star Wars movie); it undermines the whole narrative logic. In the beginning, the Resistance has to escape to preserve HOPE; the New Order doggedly pursues because Snoke wants to utterly crush HOPE; Luke makes his final sacrifice to build a legend and create HOPE; the whole movie ends on child-slaves discovering HOPE.

Well, that's nice, but if the image I get when I hear "galaxy" is the casino planet, then I won't care. Because the galaxy is a stupid,
empty place, full of bad child actors and boringly evil rich people. It doesn't need hope; it needs an ass-whooping.


Last edited by Sylvie on Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:32 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by Cy_Man on Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:31 am


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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by Old_Man_Tai on Sat Dec 30, 2017 3:32 am

I think the movie had some good things...but it had a lot of really stupid things in it too.

The Holdo/Poe/Leia stuff is beyond stupid. I get it, the director wanted points for making a more pro-feminist/Progressive Star Wars by having another strong female character and having the male character at odds with her be wrong and learn a lesson. I'm actually fine with that by itself, but the way they went about it was so damn stupid. Leia and Holdo hold back vital information for literally zero reason except to piss off Poe.

Poe himself is a terrible character here. In the first film, you got that he was the Solo archetype. Doesn't always play by the rules, but is a good soldier and has a good heart.

Here, he's an arrogant fucker who thinks way too highly of himself and comes off as a traitorous asshole who should have been locked up for his mutiny. But of course, he has to look bad, so that the women look good/powerful by comparison against him.

Basically, they tried to gain Holdo the same kind of credit that Wonder Woman got in her film, only they went about it in a terrible and stupid way that does a disservice to all the characters, the story, and the goal in general.



The casino stuff was dumb and only exists because the writers realized they needed SOMETHING for Finn to do to justify his existence, and decided to tack on a dumb romance subplot with Rose, who basically exists to be a love interest, AND to let the movie provide some incredibly ham fisted social commentary with political overtones.

Cause that's why I go to a Star Wars movie, to be lectured about how republicans and rich/white people are bad.

I agree with a lot of what Sylvie has had to say on this, especially in regards to Kylo Rens character. I like that he ditched the mask, and I LOVE that Hux tried to stand up to his taking over the First Order. It makes SENSE that he would, because Kylo Ren has in NO way shown he's ready and responsible enough to be the leader, and has no trust of anyone. Hopefully the sequel shows more of than. First Order people joining the rebellion because of the bad leadership maybe?

Phasma's death bugs me just because they never gave her anything to work with. I don't need backstory on her, but I need SOMETHING to make me care about her battle with Finn. Hell, if anything, as it's presented I'm willing to take her side over Finns (but more on him later).

Snoke bothered me in the last movie, because aside from being given ZERO information on him, they tried to replicate the Vader/Emperor thing from the original trilogy. The problem with that is that, you didn't need to give The Emperor backstory or build up, because his build up was Darth Vader himself.

Vader spends two films being a complete and utter badass that everyone is deathly afraid of, and is shown to be the guy that EVERYONE answers too. For all intents and purposes, he pretty much LEADS the Empire during the first two films.

Then come the third, you see that there is a guy that even this Sith badass KNEELS to and calls MASTER!? Holy Shit, the Emperor HAS to be powerful as fuck if VADER is kneeling to him.

With Snoke/Ren, that relationship didn't come out well because...well, I mean, look at Kylo Ren in the first film. He's a whiny, angsty, impulsive little shit, who throws massive temper tantrums, has no emotional control, and LOST a lightsaber fight against people who NEVER HELD A LIGHTSABER BEFORE. Nobody fears him, and its clear that he has no real power and that the only reason his own First Order tolerates him is because Snoke is behind him.

So because Kylo doesn't build up Snoke at all, we need either more info on Snoke, or a display of Snokes abilities to figure out what his deal is or if he's worth caring about. This movie gave us a little, and I loved that, but then he gets killed off before we can do MORE with it, which is a let down.


Porgs were fine. Cute, funny, didn't overstay their welcome.

Rey/Kylo is a good story, eager to see where it goes. Good acting by Daisy Ridely.

Rey's parents being junkers who abandoned her is great. Loved it. Had she been a Skywalker or Kenobi, it would have frankly reeked of fanfiction and ruined a lot of good things about her, and I like the message that anyone can be a jedi.

For people saying "Mary Sue", piss off. If anything, freaking Luke was a Gary Stu in the original trilogy.

I hate Finn. I said it. Finn fucking sucks. I hated him in Force Awakens because his comedy was dumb, and he just comes off as so goddamn self rightous and arrogant.
"Oh, I was a stormtrooper for years, but never killed anyone, because killing is wrong and I hate killing!" *immediately goes on to kill as many storm troopers as needed* "You're all bad people! You deserve to be killed by me, because of your killing because killing is wrong!"

He comes off as just this self rightous asshole. He was abducted into the order at a young age, like all the stormtroopers who weren't clones were, and yet never so much as spares a thought that maybe there are some like him who could be turned, or shows even the slightest bit of regret over anything. He hates killing, but will happily kill the fuck out of First Order people, because...well, because they are the bad guys, so that makes it okay?

Even in this film, his comedy his dumb, he's here for Rose to do all her social commentary, and he basically has little reason to be here. The actor is fine, but the character is poorly written, inconsistent, and has really dumb motives. Also, for a guy that's been trained since birth to be a stormtrooper, he apparently can't fight for shit.


Luke was Luke. We all figured Luke would die. For what it was, it was handled fairly well and made for a few awesome scenes.

as for the HOPE stuff...yeah, it's really hard to believe that, when we aren't shown much of the galaxy outside of what the characters are doing. As far as I, the viewer, can tell, the rest of the galaxy is probably just hoping the First Order and Rebellion stop their dumb pissing contest and let them live in peace already.

Overall, it wasn't a terrible movie, and it had some really amazing parts to it...but I also didn't love it, and it had a lot that I disliked, like Finn, and the social commentary stuff.

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by LtLukas on Sat Dec 30, 2017 4:53 am

I have literally not read a single comment in this thread. This makes me a bad person. So be it.

This move is terribad. If it was not a Star Wars movie, it would have a 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, and it would be a forgettable film in a sea of mediocrity.

My review.:
For a long time, we have seen Kylo Ren get hyped up as the heir to Darth Vader. He is supposed to be this big bad dude who has the full power of the dark side behind him. I always got the impression that he was supposed to be this unstoppable force (heh) but I feel like I have never seen him win a fight against someone who is even remotely his equal. Kylo has been trashed by Rey over and over, and he only killed Snoke through trickery. He managed to kill some unarmed civilians at the beginning of the first movie, and destroyed some faceless red ninja guards ALONGSIDE REY. And then he got knocked the fuck out while Rey bounced to another planet. Kylo is a jobber who the writers want to be a monster heel.

Which leads me to the next point. Who the fuck was Snoke? Is this in the books or something? Like, I felt like as an audience member we were just told "here is some big evil dude, fukken deal with it" when it would have been a lot more interesting to see his motivation, backstory, or even a basic explanation of his power. I don't know why I was supposed to care about him, other than the fact that he was a secondary antagonist.

Speaking of things I don't give a shit about, fuck Finn. The whole fucking casino storyline was a waste of my time. It felt really stupid. "There is only one guy who can crack this code, oh just fucking kidding there are two, and one of them is just some random dude you met in jail". Like, did we need to see the space Kentucky Derby through the class warfare lens? I am all about class warfare, believe me, but this attempt was about as subtle as cannon fire at dawn. Plus, it did not fucking matter! Like, the theif dude just fucking bounces. That whole plotline seemed like it was totally irrelevant to me.

And what is the deal with the big bad stormtrooper lady? Why is she so goddamn mad? Half the point of the Finn storyline is that he was replaceable, as he worked a totally irrelevant and inglorious job. Finn just needed a bad guy, so they shoehorned that in. And the drawn out execution that wasn't an execution was totally predictable.

Speaking of predictable, fuck the Luke storyline. Like, I get that character development is a thing. But this was just character change, with no real development. Luke was the brave guy who led the rebellion, and now he is just some bitter old man. The scene where he just milks the disgusting creature is just so fucking pointless, and I had no idea why something like that made the final cut. AND OH WHAT THE FUCK HE SHOWS UP BUT NOT REALLY AT THE END?!?ONE? WHAT A FUKKEN SURPRISE.

About the admiral lady, I don't really mind. I don't think an admiral has to explain himself to a guy who just got demoted because he is an asshole. The hubbub about that plotline is overdone. Do you think real life admirals explain every detail of every plan to a random lieutenant on some cruiser?

It felt too funny, for me. There were scenes were they tried to be cute were too damn cute. Like, I felt like the gravity of a lot of situations were lost because someone cracked a joke. It felt like the tone was off, and the whole thing was just done to gloss over the terrible writing.

Writing was awful. Acting was fine. Music was not noteworthy (heh). Special effects were nice. 2/10.

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

Post by SimplyMoon on Sat Dec 30, 2017 5:13 am

I rate things on a 5 star system, Last Jedi is a 2/5 from me. Not as bad as the mess that is the prequels but pretty damned close. Playing it safe with Force Awakens was OK with me, this was the opposite, this was a near mess.

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Re: About Star Wars 8..;

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